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December 15, 2006

Serious Suggestions for 2007

1. Bring back Don Rumsfeld. He's enormously talented, a national treasure, maybe indispensable. And he gets that civil rights are different in war. Take a good look, too. Rummy is us--like him or not.

2. Consider Joe Biden--Hillary Clinton in 2008. It might work.

3. Consider a system of nationwide reciprocity in lawyer licensing. Let NY counsel freely invade CA if they need to to work there for longstanding clients as long as they agree to CA bar discipline.

4. Take a stand. Discourage "required" gender-neutral speech. Enough is enough. Let nature take its course. Words come into the arsenal of real English when they are ready. Quit forcing the issue. Resist "chairperson". Talk as you please.

5. In the alternative, set aside a "required" day where everyone must smoke, smoke heavily, and smoke Camel non-filters.

6. In the alternative, set aside a day in the workplace on which everyone must talk to one another like Elvis ("thankyouvirymutch, for that e-mail, little honeys..."). And on that day, flirt in the workplace--and openly. Refuse to be a Dweeb.

7. Swear and curse more--but only at work and only on the record. More Howard, less Conan, less Rosie. More Parker Posey, less anyone named Brittany, Justin or other Gen X names. More Annabeth Gish. More Ellen Bry. More Parker Posey. Everyone in U.S. must acknowledge in writing that the simplest woman is 10 times more complex than any man.

8. Joking about any client you haven't fired is now a firing offense.

9. Read Hunter Thompson, and Francois Villon. Leave a legacy. Play your old Yardbirds, John Mayall, Byrds and Kinks albums. Loud.

10. Get out of your cars and dance.


Posted by JD Hull at December 15, 2006 03:41 PM

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